Today was long but somewhat eventful! The Lt. General of Ft. Bragg came, gave Grand a medal coin of Excellence...Grand was asleep because of all the pain meds...I didn't take picture, it all happened so fast!
I finally broke down in front of him tonight. It has been a LONG day, and I was just sitting there staring at him, creepily, as nurse Anne puts it, and I lost it. I think mainly because he can't really talk to me, and I MISS TALKING TO MY BEST FRIEND!!!!
When Grand was in Afghanistan, I talked to him almost everyday. He couldn't email me or anything just call from those satellite phones. He called me every chance he had and we would talk until we couldn't talk anymore. Now I just stare at him, and when he is not all medicated, he does try to get some words out.
When I was crying, I was trying to be careful so he couldn't hear me, but he woke up anyway, looked at me and said, "It will be alright"......really, I lost it like that, he is laying there suffering and he tells me it will be alright....then I lost it even more...he had some tears too. I think it was a much needed moment!! Right before all of this I had prayed for many things, one being that Grand would be able to talk to me, I am thankful GOD heard my cry and let my best friend speak to me, even if it was four single words!!!
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Wow Carrie. I'm so sad and simultaneously thankful that God gave the two of you this moment. I love that Grand was honored this way today... and I love the ways you both display a very intimate, personal bravery that has it's own daily impact on others. I love you and am praying daily.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you two could have that moment together! I'm sure it was a very healing, and even more bonding, time for the two of you. Don't ever feel guilty about feeling like you are suffering too. You are going through a lot as well and just as you want to make everything better for him, he wants to be able to do the same for you. You two will be each other's greatest support and healers in the time to come. We love you guys and are always praying!
ReplyDeleteWow Carrie! Crying is so good for your Spirit, and I'm glad you both had a good cry together. You are so wonderful to share all of this with us. Love you so much! Nancy
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